BeeLeeBaaLaa

I thought I don't belong to any girls' group but I was wrong

簡單。直接。快樂。

沒有是非。沒有揶揄。沒有測度。

謝謝妳們把我小屋充滿笑填滿愛。

.

很喜歡兩歲多的孩子

他們自我很大個子小小

人人都說這一代孩子幸福

萬千竉愛要風得風

幸福誰定？

觀點位置不一樣就是

一生安逸簡簡單單

波折重重歷盡風霜

用學懂的事來衡量幸福

還是用不需經歷困難來衡量

幸福與否

在於自己吧

覺得是覺得有就是有

地鐵站內小女孩在呼天搶地

女孩母親大駡拼命推開

就像我小時候的母親

給母親推開推出家門推出餐廳

次數之多不能記錄

那種被拒絕的感覺

深印我心

要重建重拾安全被愛的信心比我想像中難

小時看進眼裡的畫面和聽進耳朵的說話

全都刻在腦袋割進骨頭

我還是相信自己某程度是幸福

因為我懂被遺棄是什麼就奮不顧身愛甚至被害

這大概會一直循環

至死

現在都個子很大

自我

要用多幾多陪力才有

Hey Mom, why didnt you hold me tight?

The Sun Is Shinning

繁重非常文件堆積如山頭霧煙時

舊同事chat group竟然彈出多張陽光海灘照來

你們實在。。。（找不到可形容心情的詞彙）

足一出戶就見大藍天

天空雖然有點狹窄

都夠我放鬆腳步上班

工作日數剩餘二

出發日子還有五

這比例很酷

十多年後才再有此聚

千個太陽真是應境

各人仍舊欠些什麼找些什麼似的

走回原點？

走在原點？

或是從未出發？

如果天空要暴雨

黑色暴雨警告信號未掛之前

雷電整晚響閃不斷

隔音極度缺乏的小屋似乎會被震破

如果我膽小一點就好

我想

睡醒不在床上在天上多好

有些人老是擔心

有些人從不擔心

擔心就像感冒

一個人擔心之後

會有更多人緊跟著擔心

如果天真的要倒下來

就要學杞人憂天嗎

還有一星期就走

請相信我

我真的很喜歡成語動話廊

:)

May I Please

"Up till now I did not realize how important it is to grieve. I have been taught to forgive willingly or unwillingly. I have been taught to have faith and trust and move on. I have been taught to move w the power of creativity. But never realize I will never mature unless I learn to grieve my past and recognize my hurt and embrace my pain before I can honestly realese true forgiveness and receive forgiveness from God. Life is just way more complicated then I can handle.

little did I know that my loss and my hurt have great value to God and my spirituality. 
Little did I know I have entered into the "in-between" or the period of disorientation. This period of confusion, self-doubt, and resentment is just part ofthe journey of life that I cannot afford to ignore. It is indeed the sacred time of my expansion. Yet, honestly I dislike it... no wonder...

Where would i find a community where the leaders are willing to model vulnerability, weakness, confusion, and pain. I guess the call is clear -- it always starts w myself. 

I have been grantes w so much gifts yet I doubt it as nothing. Because in light of my hurt and wounds and past, only His words can ever bring comfort, only His love can ever bring release and healing, and only His presence can ever give me peace."


"freely you gave it all for us. surrounded your life upon that cross. great is your love....." -- may i find comfort in you.

Ironman3x2

I wonder how it feels watching the same movie twice in a month

Get it now

Its not bad when its great

"Repeating" is not as bored as I thought

Still jump up

Still excited

Still laugh

But 

something 

different 

OMG

I HAVE DREAMS IN MY DREAM AGAIN

INSECURE LEVELED UP

不聽 不觸摸 不痛楚

遺棄的聲音又響起了
遺棄的感覺偏剩下多少
不聽 不觸摸 不痛楚
懶看 懶記憶 懶問我
今天得到的叫什麼 管不了

白痴下去

星期一晚八點還未到就喝得有點醉
然後星期二八點多開始雨中踏單車

反差常常出現就變成尋常事
總不能每時每秒都幹有意義的事吧

籃球隊今晚勝利了
對手有點弱我們士氣逐漸強
十幾年不只默契還有感情

猩猩pastor輔導火爆何康的話我們都聽進耳朵記在腦

「我們都不能滿足所有人的期望
誰比誰重要自己去分去辨
母親和你過一世還是老婆
人要離開父母不單是身體還有心思
不是不孝順而是分輕重」

男生群的相處很爽
坦蕩蕩就好

我沒有包袱沒有顧慮到那裡都可以
雷先生一語道破

下一站要轉車到新地方去逛逛吧
空空的來原本就是什麼都沒有什麼都不是

朋友說我是白痴
好吧
就一直白痴下去

那又如何

連續工作第x天

即使早睡午起我仍覺很累

彷彿身體和腦袋和心靈都失去支援一樣

衝到二十九號希望我還有命上飛機

近的日子都未知能否捱過

怎能想著下一步

母親節要去工作都好

反正可以令別人的母親快樂就好

太古坊這地方令我不自然

心情怪怪的

裝傻裝笑我還很棒的

看起來好就好啦

總不能一輩子不走回鰂魚涌吧

小朋友用力唱就好

人大了用力不就好

母親節的母親不一定都快樂

人就是不一定每天都快樂

羅牧師說：

「人生有許多時做了都是徒勞無功，但那又如何！」

Mess up

Work 0830

Lunch 1630

My body has no signal hungry

Its actually good to be busy these days

rest-less think-less 

Purpose of work

Purpose of eating

Purpose of life

X asked

"Why are you spending so much time flying so many hours from a comfortable city to somewhere has no clean water meet people nearly nobody cares"

I started to think and find the answer in my head

In some way at some point

I'm just some random useless tiny little person living on this earth waiting to go to heaven

Without HiS endless love and mercy and grace and acceptance and care and... i should died at least 10 times

I probably need to beg my life for joining the trip to Ghana

I'm not 偉大 like R says

In fact, I can only do very little

I have many limits like all others

Just one life

I only have one life to live

One life to give

Love like how HE loves

Give as if I have so much

Not to live it right

Live it as a life

Finally 

I know why I work so hard why I cry so hard why my heart breaks why I mess up

This is why

I can have nothing

But not without love

Xie Xie

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

Even air tastes sour

22days

I can hardly breath with the heavy workload these days

Yes, look ahead might help loosen a bit but the reality is too real

Gosh, i need a hug or a shoulder

My heart weary my brain freezes 

I'm not as strong as I used to be

How could it be?!!

Why my tears run naturally 

No waking up in the middle of the nights plssss

What happen to me?!

懂放手

倒數23天

:)


抓太緊自己很累別人也累

道理總是明白用起來就不容易

尤其我過份感覺先決欠自信


最近太多來來回回的抱歉

明明想著幸福

弄得人人都辛苦

一。一。一。

基本簡單快樂都忘掉就回到原點看

其實我一直都沒變

期望被期待期望被需要


怒走四個多小時山路今天身體竟然不怎累

朋友說我身子虛弱意志卻很強

這大概是從少培養出來的不屈性格


我說堅持就會一直走

決定放棄就回不了頭

這不對嗎？


友：「有人曾令你放低倔強接受幫忙嗎？

或許你常認為自己不須被保護被照顧，

但有人願意照顧保護你的時候，

你可就不用那麼辛苦可以休息，

也不等於你不夠堅強，

合時放手放下也是一種幸福，懂嗎？」


已累不出聲了

繁。擾

工作忙著可是我頭長痛的根

跑來跑去

有人提我忙的時候就為非洲之行倒數

27天

果然感覺好了點


又累又餓也無力吃

笑我是沒有平安鐘的獨居長者

暈了病倒發臭才被發現

有點誇張但可能性倒存在


今天的小發現

原來我太餓會發脾氣

@

近日情緒很擾人

是陰雨天氣還是生活影響我倒沒有頭緒

總有想哭孤零的鬱結感

力擴到底把讓自己向上拉的同時

下垂力就越強

I don't want medication!!!


雖然用不著那個隨時候命的承諾

但也確實有點小安慰


Gosh! Not so Sentimental plssssss

生離

Packing up stuff in the office for new centre.

Found a bunch of tailor-made CDs.

My boss and his ex-wifes'

Next to those,

A few other tailor-made CDs of his student's 47th 結婚週年紀念

That's ironic


我相信

沒有人結婚會預計離婚

拍拖就預計分手

或者

人只是不太懂「珍惜」


失去多少才懂？

懂了又能從來？

宜

聽說

性格三分鐘熱度的

不宜紋身

墨水打進皮膚裡

就改不了

跟人一輩子


這種說法蠻浪漫

又很倔強