May I Please

"Up till now I did not realize how important it is to grieve. I have been taught to forgive willingly or unwillingly. I have been taught to have faith and trust and move on. I have been taught to move w the power of creativity. But never realize I will never mature unless I learn to grieve my past and recognize my hurt and embrace my pain before I can honestly realese true forgiveness and receive forgiveness from God. Life is just way more complicated then I can handle.

little did I know that my loss and my hurt have great value to God and my spirituality. 
Little did I know I have entered into the "in-between" or the period of disorientation. This period of confusion, self-doubt, and resentment is just part ofthe journey of life that I cannot afford to ignore. It is indeed the sacred time of my expansion. Yet, honestly I dislike it... no wonder...

Where would i find a community where the leaders are willing to model vulnerability, weakness, confusion, and pain. I guess the call is clear -- it always starts w myself. 

I have been grantes w so much gifts yet I doubt it as nothing. Because in light of my hurt and wounds and past, only His words can ever bring comfort, only His love can ever bring release and healing, and only His presence can ever give me peace."


"freely you gave it all for us. surrounded your life upon that cross. great is your love....." -- may i find comfort in you.